The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
