so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
