Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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