marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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