He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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