I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
