i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
