i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
