Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
