i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
where are you?
Hypothermia
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
