hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
