I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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