There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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