I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
