She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
