Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
home. puking in laundry basket.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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