dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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