none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
