i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
