Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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