Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
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Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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