just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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