why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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