He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize