I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
