You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...