i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
