You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
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I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
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you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
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