my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
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