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• (818): View more from California

  I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (915): View more from Texas

  Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (914): View more from New York

  He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.

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• (949): View more from California

  We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.

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