Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.