My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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