so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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