Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
