smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
