Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think your dad took our porno
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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