Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
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I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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