he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
