try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
