Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
