I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
