TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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