Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize