hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The air was thick with penises
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
