i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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