drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
