He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
