they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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