He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
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I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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