I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
