her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
