Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
