So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
