Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
