The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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