remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
