So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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