they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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