I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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