How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
