me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize