She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
