I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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