I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
