I think my fart just growled at me.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
