I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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