so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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