Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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