The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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