Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize