So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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